Aed jokes
Well, I was gonna make a joke about drunk people, but that would be good for the health.
I had a friend who got shot in the head.
Guess you could say he was...
Blown Away!
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
What do you call a rapper who works at the BANK?
Lil Teller.
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
What's a prostitute's favorite snack?
Skittles. They love to taste the rainbow.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”