Aed jokes
What do you call a blind kid with an eye patch and no arms?
Names.
You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?
You were hit by a shockwave!
What do you call an emo that likes pizza? A pizza cutter.
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
An orphan girl wanted a family so she was raped until pregnant. Problem solved.
A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."
And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.
What do you call a bird with no feet? A fly.
You know why the Twin Towers were more remembered? A hexagon is more commendable than a pentagon.
I told a diabetic boy to have sweet dreams, and he died the next morning.
I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.
What is an orphan's least favorite show? “How I Met Your Mother.”
What's a depressed person's favorite drink?
Depresso espresso.
Nah, just kidding, it's bleach.
Hellen Keller went to town riding a pony, stuck a feather in her hat, and called it an "Unnghhtpthhh!"
What’s the difference between a retard and a zombie? Nothing much, they both dribble, moan, are hungry, walk weirdly, and it takes a bullet in the head to put them both down.
Why didn't the dog want to play football??
'Cause he was a boxer!
I asked this kid for a high five, but he could not reach my hand.
Your hairline is so far back you ain't got a fo'head, you got a five head!
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian orphanage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
For the same reason a ship won't stay afloat with holes in the bottom.