Aed jokes
A little girl said one day, "Grandma's gonna die tonight!" The next morning, the girl's grandmother's body was found.
That day she said again, "Grandpa's gonna die tonight!" Sure enough, the girl's grandfather died and his body was discovered the next morning.
That day she said, "Daddy's gonna die tonight." The girl's father was terrified. He lay shaking the entire night. Somehow, he survived until morning. His wife came into the room crying. He asked her why she was upset and she said that the postman had died last night.
I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?
A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"
BA DUM TSS
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
What do you call a gay guy on the BBQ?
LGBBQ.
Why are you guys making fun of priests?
Because you have a suga daddy already.
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
*Shotguns in a nutshell*
2B: MUST.
4B: ADD.
6B: MORE.
12B: *B A R R E L S*
*And that's how multi-barrel shotguns were made.*
I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"
Why make a joke when I wake up and look at myself?
There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.
Yo, hairline is a distraction to my barber because he wanna fix it so bad (because of how bad it looks).
I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.
It really gave me a hard time indeed.
A straight man and a gay man are talking. The straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "Oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
What do you call a scared cow?
A COW-ard.
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
My mom told me to be positive...
I was heading to an HIV test.
If I had two nickels every time PETA parodied a game, I'd have 14.
What do you call a genderless child?
It's not a mister, it's not a misses, I'm more for a mystery.