Aed jokes
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
I went to a butcher house with my little cousin and saw a baby pig and told her, "Look, it's Pepa Pig!"
She started crying.
What do you call a fake speedrunner?
Dream.
What do you call a Barbie doll that’s wearing scrubs?
A plastic surgeon. 😷
A book went to the doctor’s office and said: “Doctor, doctor, I’ve got thesaurus throat ever.”
What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
Yo mama so stupid that she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
We are in a matrix, wake up.
My best friend looked at my arms and said, "Stop, sh*t, it's bad," then turns right around and says, "You look like a tiger."
So from here on out I am now Finn, the self-harming tiger.
"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."
"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"
What do you call a pickle sandwich?
A Big Mac!
I'm going to bomb a little child (I'm an USA bomber).
America is filled with MAYO MONKEYS (you could make a mayo sandwich!).
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?
"I don’t have a mama."
You're more likely to be killed by a cow than by a shark.
Ricardo Medina, one of the former red Power Rangers, pleaded guilty to killing his roommate with a sword.
If Finding Nemo was scientifically correct, Marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo.
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’m having an affair with your wife!”