Aed jokes

"Shout out to entity...welcome to hell!"

"Every time I see your icon I vomit lol."

"Get a life... hey I'm violet olivegarden how can I help you if you need me to disc someone ill help..."

A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:

"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."

Hi guys, jokes for sister.

So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.

Y'all, these 9/11 jokes ain't funny. I ordered a plain pizza in the Twin Towers.

Dump in a stump. Ahahahaha.

When the police saw your hairline, they gave your barber a breathalyzer test.

What do you call a white guy with a 10 inch cock?

Asleep. Because that motherfucker's dreaming.

How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

Kick his sister in the jaw.

POV: Wine Taster in hell.

I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"

The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.

"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."

"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."

Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."

What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?

One Hung Lo.

I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.

I ran over an emo yesterday? I wanted to let him see pitch black.

I threw a lamp at an emo? I tried to lighten up his day.

Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?

The turtle, because it can walk.

What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?

Kids play with both of them.

What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.

If you are a bully at a school, when you get home, find an orphan and beat them up!

What are they going to do? Tell the orphan lady to tell you to stop? 😆😝

"what's that on your wrist?"

"I'm a cutting board. duh"

What do you call someone 400lbs with a beer? A heavy drinker.

There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.

One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.

What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?

Only one moans when I put my meat in it.