Aed jokes
My 1 year old nephew had a stroke. I know, sounds bad... but he would have needed to learn how to speak and walk anyways.
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent!
What did the dentist say when he looks into a patient's mouth?
"I C D K"
You know what I see?
DICK
Dad joke time:
What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
Whenever I make a 9/11 joke, it bombs.
How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
Chuck Norris can drift with a horse.
What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
What do you call a gay kid on fire?
I conducted a survey. I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said, "How the fuck did you get in here?" 😂😂😂
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
"Shout out to entity...welcome to hell!"
"Every time I see your icon I vomit lol."
"Get a life... hey I'm violet olivegarden how can I help you if you need me to disc someone ill help..."
A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:
"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."
Hi guys, jokes for sister.
So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.
Y'all, these 9/11 jokes ain't funny. I ordered a plain pizza in the Twin Towers.
Dump in a stump. Ahahahaha.