Aed jokes
I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.
What do you call a Muslim and an Arab in a plane?
Pilots, you racist fuckers!
I asked my phone why I couldn't get a date.
It showed a picture of myself.
Who was the meanest man in the world?
He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well, but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
I went to McDonald's to get a Big Mac. It was for his mom cause she was too fat.
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?
How does a priest purify water?
Boil the hell out of it!
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To make a catastrophy on the road.
I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.
Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.
Me and a wheelchair person were playing tag, and I broke my leg so it can be fair for him.
A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.
When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"
The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.
Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"
God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
Mickey: I want a divorce!
Minney: Are you fricking crazy?
Mickey: No, I'm fricking Daisy!
I'm gonna blow out your lungs faster than Joe Biden thinks is possible with a 9mm.
Yo, edgeline go so far back that I can now mow a lawn perfectly.
A wise man once told me: "If you poke the bear in prison, the bear will happily return the favor when it's time to shower."
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they take a corner, they open up a shop.