Aed jokes

Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"

Because he would have beef with Homelander.

I put a pipe bomb in an orphanage. 🤡🤡

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"

Queen Elizabeth died a couple weeks ago. I'm still trying to find the reboot catd.

I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.

A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.

At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."

What makes Squidward and a Quandale Dingle the same?

They both got them big parts.

Last night I shared a bed with two of my friends because we were in a small hotel. We had strange dreams last night.

My friend on the left dreamed of getting a handjob.

So did my friend on the right.

I had a dream of skiing.

I donated a computer to the orphanage...

It didn’t have a motherboard.

What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?

I don't eat burritos.

What do my cock and money have in common?

Your mom.

How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.

When you find out the stripper you're banging is a hooker, but you're saving money, so it's okay.

How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?

About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.

The woman had a dick, lol, it's your mom ahahahahahaha, yeah YOU! Jhon man! In New York City I am on to you! I will be under your bed tonight lol get a bodyguard!

First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.

Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"

Kid: "A leopard."

Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."

Kid: "Broooooooooooo."

Is that a mirror in your pants? Cause I can see myself inside them.

Why do orphans look so ugly?

Because they have a face not even a mother could love.

9/11 jokes are a bomb!