Aed jokes
There once was a man that wanted to join a group of right-handed men, but he wrote with the other hand. He got left behind.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.
Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
Yo dad is like a boomerang; he never comes back.
My dad was in 9/11, that's rude, and he was a great pilot.
How many midgets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three, because it’s the normal person's height.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
Girl: Hey.
Orphan: Hi.
Girl: Wanna be friends?
Orphan: Sure.
Girl: Ok, and go ask your parents if we can have a sleep over.
What is a dirty minded Harry Potter fan's favorite spell before the deed? Dickus Embigus!
Q: How do you blind a woman?
A: You put a windshield in front of her.
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
When the guy next to you says that he kind of agrees with the villain.
Me watching a World War 2 documentary.
What do you call a white bucket?
A pail.
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!
Are you a gun because I want to live with you?
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
I would make a joke, but it won't be as explosive as the others.
What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla?
At least gorillas don't abort their own.
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.