Aed jokes
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.
"Your mother has been with us for 20 years," said John. "Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?"
"My mother?" replied Helen. "I thought she was your mother."
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
During Halloween, my friend went as a skeleton.
He refused to go into the haunted house. Looks like he was SPINE-LESS.
If you run next to a car, you get tired, but if you run behind it, you get exhausted.
I'll be here all week... sadly enough for you.
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
You're so fat, you went on a scale and it said, "One at a time."
You're so black, when you get near the sun, we go into a solar eclipse.
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
Your hairline is so big it took your mom a map to find it.
Lenard is a joke.
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
I pushed a disabled kid over, and he came crawling back to me.
What do you call an Indian eating cows? Mooove to jail.
An autistic kid.
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
How is the world like a box of crayons?
Nobody likes the white ones.
And a side note, it's multi colored.
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
Which train is loaded with bubble gum?
A chew-chew train.
What happens if a redneck is bisexual? Do they go for their brother or sister?