Aed jokes
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
What is 6 inches and long?
A Slim Jim.
What is white and fluffy? A peelo.
Why did the woman want a boyfriend at least 2 🦶 taller?
So she could feel like a little girl and fulfill her rape fantasy.
I gave a deaf kid AirPods.
A missile hit a hospital earlier this morning. Fortunately, no one was injured - but 100 were killed.
"Deez nutz" are a hairline.
Me: I wouldn’t want to be with a shitmate.
Shitmate: You’re so shitable.
Me: Bring banana ice cream.
Shitmate: Never happening.
What is six inches, goes in your mouth, and it's fun when it vibrates? A toothbrush.
What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?
A toothbrush.
One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".
The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.
Warning! Cringe Alert!
What happens when you leave your phone at jail?
It becomes a cell phone.
Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.
Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.
Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.
Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?
Bully: How would you know that?
Me: Because she told me herself.
Bully: How exactly?
Me: She's on the phone right now.
Phone: *High pitched animal noises*
Me: Told you so!
What do you get when you cross a cow with a cat?
A: Cowacat
B: Mooore
C: Cowacatfood
You are so fat that when you wear a yellow raincoat, a running person behind you shouted, "Taxi!"
Are you George Floyd?
Cause you take my breath away! 😮💨
I am starting a frog cult now!
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked.