Aed jokes
Why couldn’t an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Because an orphan doesn’t have a family.
My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if you jump and yell "parkour," it’ll just be a failed stunt.
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
What's the difference between my car and a school bus? A school bus takes them back home.
My boss said she would've loved to meet Bill Cosby as a child. I don't get why I'm getting arrested. I was just making sure his dream came true.
Last week I went on a whale watch.
After everyone had piled onto a boat, they loaded the boat onto a trailer and drove to your house.
What do you call a dead black plantation worker? Fertilizer.
Roses are red, I'm off the grid,
John Cena accidentally says "you can't see me" to a blind kid.
A capital E backwards is just it's mirror image.
How do you make a trash can leak?
Hit it with an axe until it becomes part of the cosmos!
Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”
Friend 1: “Yeah.”
Friend 2: “Yea.”
Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”
Friend 3: “I love anime.”
Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*
Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and the devil?
The devil always has horns... not just around children.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
What do Michael Jackson and a plastic bag have in common?
They both are plastic and like kids.
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
Last week a girl asked me for sex. I had to disappoint her... so I said yes.
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
I’m not a hard drinker. I actually find it pretty easy.
My teacher asked us what sex is. My friend, Bobby, got up and said in a loud, clear voice, "Sex is a temptation caused by a sensation, where a boy puts his location into a woman's destination to increase the population of the next generation. Do you understand my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?" The teacher shot him 23 times before she fainted.