Aed jokes
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.
The orphan wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.
Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.
The Emo kid wanted to go on a field trip, but he needed his parent's signature.
What is a Fortnite player's favorite football team? The rabbit raiders! LOL! LMAO! LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! LMAO! 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
There was a guy who got his whole left side shot off.
When he was at the hospital and he woke up, he asked the doctor if he was okay.
The doctor said, "You're all right now."
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?
Me and my friend were cranking 90s in Fortnite, then our other friend joined, started flying a plane. We died like all the people in 9/11.
Is shooting and killing a pregnant woman a spawn kill or double kill?
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."
I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!
What does a blind kid and an orphan have in common?
They can’t see their parents.
What is it called when a cop hides under his bed? Going undercover.
What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?
The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.
Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.
*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.
*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.
*Me sits down in the chair*
*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.
*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.
*walks out without paying*
*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.
*customer:* I told u she would.
"I know that everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you’re really abusing that privilege."