Aed jokes
POV: A person made you mad, but you're Chinese and they have a cat. "CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, CHING CHONG, BITCH."
I snorted a line of coke off my 8-year-old sister’s tiny prepubescent vag. She just laid there and let me do it without complaining, probably because she was already dead.
Yo mama so hairy that the zookeepers called a code red thinking an ape got loose.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
Q: What do you call deaf Magic Johnson?
A: Hearing Aids.
Q: What did Chris Brown say when he first saw Rhianna?
A: I'd hit that.
What kind of shells do tanks use to cheat?
A-cheat shells.
What do you call a fat Indian sat on the floor?
A meatball/malteser.
I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"
He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."
It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.
Where's the best place to hide a body? In the second page of Google search results.
It’s ok to yell “Kobe” after missing a shot, he didn’t make it either.
Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest
Yo mama's so gay that, after watching Aladdin, she tried to fly on a pride flag!
Yo mama is so fat, they had to flood the Super Bowl to give her a bath.
I don't know why we have to make jokes about this, it's already a joke.
A sister told her brother to walk to the store, buy some candy, and watch a movie with her while eating the candy.
But he couldn't walk because he has no legs. He couldn't buy candy because he has no arms. He couldn't watch a movie because he was blind, and he couldn't eat because he has no stomach. Who said he was real?
You wanna know the difference between a rake and your mom? The rake is actually useful.