Aed jokes
Chuck Norris is a genius for this: Walker Texas Ranger = Wrangler Karate Sex.
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells, “I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and stupid rules being a leader!”
A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him. Later, he brings the man to Stalin. The soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man, “Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets?”
The man responds, “Of course, I was thinking about Hitler!”
Stalin lets him go, but then he stops the soldier and says, “Who were YOU thinking about?”
I'm a magician. Watch my closing act at the end of the rope.
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
I caught a cold, Mary Earp caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane.
What is a disabled person's favorite type of comedy? Sit-down comedy!
I have a joke about paper. It's tearable.
Yo mama so fat, she classified as a whole solar system.
What's the difference between 911 and a Mexican gardener?
One of them is an outside job.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
What’s the difference between a cow and Hitler jokes?
You can’t milk the cow after 12 years.
What would you throw between a priest and a nun? A bottle of whiskey.
A man's daughter comes home from school and asks her dad if she can borrow the car.
The father replies, "No, it's too late at night."
The daughter says, "C'mon, Dad. I'll do anything."
The dad says, "OK, suck my dick."
The daughter says, "No, that's disgusting."
The dad says, "You want the car. You said you'll do anything."
The daughter agrees. Just as she is about to put her father's dick into her mouth, she stops and says, "Eww, Dad, your dick smells like shit."
The dad replies, "Yeah, well, your brother borrowed the car about an hour ago."
Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.
I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.
If you buy a Renault Megane, all your girls will be gone.
If you drive a Lamborghini, then you have a tiny weenie.
I just went to India and thought, "Why do they have so many sniper hitmen?" It turns out the red dot isn't a sniper laser.
Remember kids, if you're in a big problem, yell SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEËEEEEEEEEĒEEEEĘEEEEEEEEESH!
One time, I was making a caramel apple.
When I mistook 1 gallon of caramel for 1 camel!
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"