Aed jokes

I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.

I found a lot of matches.

A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.

What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish?

What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?

Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."

(I'm a trans man myself lol)

"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."

"If you got a question, just shoot!"

I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.

Your mum is so fat that she took a spoon to the supercool.

So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD

What is more fun than throwing a baby off a cliff?

Catching it with a pitchfork.

How to make an orphan BLEED?

Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.

Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.

Step 3 - Tell them to kys.

Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.

Can we have sex, because if we don't, I can't like you, big, thick booty!

So let's have sex in bed, you sexy woman, or behind a tree, because shoving my dick in your pussy is a very nice feeling while sucking your ass.

According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that Keagan's FIFA team should be this terrible, also the problem is that Keagan is a Real Madrid fan.

Okay, so I know this is not a joke, but I wanted to take some time to say if you have autism, you are still amazing. You are lovely in every way, and if people bully you, don't listen because they are wrong. You are cute, and I know how it feels. I have ADHD, and I get bullied a lot, but I don't let that get to me because I know what they are saying is wrong and not true. People with autism, stay strong; you got this. I will be your friend by heart, even if it's not in person.

Bro has to get a fringe to cover up the big, increasing hairline.

What does a knife have but not my life...

A point.

What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.

A weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never seen a weasel before. What can I get you?”

“Pop,” goes the weasel.

Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?

To the I.C.U.

I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.

I call it my trail mix.

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,

"Please send me a sibling!"

Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"