Aed jokes
Who can shave 20 times a day and still have a beard? -- A barber.
Two silk worms got in a fight. It ended in a tie.
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
Why couldn't a lifeguard save the hippie? -- Because he was too far out, man.
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
What has a bottom at the top?
Your legs.
What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?
A pool table.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What kind of dog can do magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
I once ate a watch. It was time consuming.
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"
How many ears does Captain Picard have?
Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.
What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? The hockey player showers after 3 periods.
What's the difference between a gay and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What is a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? -- Free delivery.
What do you call cows that have a sense of humor? -- Laughing stock.
A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "Do you have that book for men with small penises?"
The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."
"Yeah, that's the one!"
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."