Aed jokes
A hamburger walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."
What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God knows he's not a surgeon.
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."
How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram.
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?
Give her a shovel.
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
Why did they call off the leper hockey game?
There was a face-off in the corner.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?
Pokemon!
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
A termite walks into a bar and says, "Hey, is the bartender here?"
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
What do you call a pig with no legs?
A groundhog.
What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?
A pool table.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
What car does Hitler drive?
A Fuhrerri.
What does a Mexican Highlander say?
"There can be only Juan!"
The past, present, and future walk into a bar.
It gets really tense.
What do you call a drunken Muslim?
Mohammered.