Aed jokes
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"
A Roman walks into a bar.
He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."
Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.
A fake name and a fake phone number.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
I used to be a banker...
But then I lost interest.
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller.
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff.
What's the most fun a monk can have?
Nun.
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
What do you call a person that inherits a lot of money?
A millionheir.
Where did the sheep get a haircut?
At the baa-baa shop.
What do you call disabled people that follow politics?
A special interest group.
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin' Catholic.
A hamburger walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."
What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God knows he's not a surgeon.
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."