Aed jokes
Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. What a waste of thyme.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? -- One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? -- A cross.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.
How do you count cows? -- With a cowculator.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? -- A stick.
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.