Aed jokes
You've got a body inside you. It's called your bones.
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
What do you call a dead parrot?
Polygon.
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
You know your doctor is gay when he asks you to touch your toes, and then you feel a rub on your back and a tickle on your anus.
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.
JFK did a good job spreading around on his final speech.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience...
Mosely in a white van.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a juice box because it said concentrate.
What do you call a plane with no wings? Sally.
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him for a drag.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A Ba-na-na-na! (To the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)
What is the difference between an old chest and a kid? One doesn't cry when you drop it in the basement.
I did a ton of work today, a skele-ton.