Aed jokes
My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.
Ha Ha Ha
I thought it was funny.
What did your mom get for Christmas?
A big black horse dildo.
I have a trombone.
When I'm sad, I cut myself...A PIECE OF CAKE!
I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
I impaled my son with a pitchfork...
He looks very sharp.
There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
A Muslim enters a building...
Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
What's a delinquent mitten's favorite sport?
Badminton.
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
Yo mama so fat,
She doesn't fit in a Titan's mouth.
(Attack on Titan; Shingeki no Kyojin)
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...
I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!
How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.