Aed jokes

Cremation,

The last chance for a smoking hot body.

I bought my blind friend a house on the edge of a cliff.

They died of happiness and a 30 story fall.

What's Hitler's favorite Yu-Gi-Oh card?

BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON

Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's dad said, "That's Mr. Wiggles." Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's mom said, "That's my garden." Timmy's mom said, "Don't look up." Timmy looked up. Timmy said, "What are those?" Timmy's mom said, "Those are her headlights." Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said, "Don't look under the covers." Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled, "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR. WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"

What do retarded cops give tickets for?

Going over 45 in a potato zone.

A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."

The room was full of arm amputees.

Two baby seals walk into a club.

How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, cause they'll screw anything.

Dracula was invited to a BBQ. He got stake.

I drank some dye before, but don't worry, I've only dyed a little inside.

How do you cook macaroni? With a shark-spoon-a-rooni!

I would have told you a cheesy pun, but it was too cheesy. *picks up cheeses*

I was in a maze and I got to the end and they congratulated me. I said that was a-maze-ing!

Hey Jonny, you can buy a...

Pun o' chips at the store!

What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?

WATCH OUT!!!

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

What do you call a dancing cow that dies while dancing?

Dead mooves.

My friend's mother thought a kid who had autism and Down syndrome called him a "double down."

Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"

Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?

I heard it was because of pier pressure.