Aed jokes
Yahahlmsyw.
That stand for:
You are has a whole, let me show you why.
If you shoot at a school of fish, could you call it a school shooting?
What do you call a cow with three legs?
My ex.
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
Q: Why do I like bone jokes so much?
A: Because they are humerus.
What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.
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Why is a cabbage green? Because it's in Greenland.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
Q) What was the last pizza delivery to 9/11?
A) Two large planes.
What does a sponge do?
It talks to Patrick.
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry, it's just a couple.
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he's drinking a magical drink. He asks, "What's so magical about it?" The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, "Y'know, you're a real jerk when you're drunk, Superman."
A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."
The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"
The doctor calmly replies "Nine".
What's the difference between a businessman and a businesswoman? Wo!
There was a guy I knew who owned a foot-high piano player.
He had found a magic lamp and rubbed it. The genie popped out and gave him one wish.
The guy thinks the genie was a bit deaf, as all he got was a 12" pianist.
I call my girlfriend .05 because she's a bag I blow into when I've had a few drinks.
Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.