Aed jokes
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
What happens once every minute, twice every millennium, but never in a hundred years?
The letter M.
What do you say to a fat Asian?
You got more chins than a Chinese phone book.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.
I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.
I hate people who get offended here, like seriously, it's called dark humor for a reason.
A is for apple, B is for dyslexia—oh wait, no! That’s D!
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
A man and a boy are walking into a forest. It begins to get dark. The boy says "Mister, I'm scared." The man replies "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."
The real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs.
Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.
I ain’t a chicken, but I ate a duck before.
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
What are the similarities between an American teen and an old Muslim man?
They both choose who they want.
There was a guy how had a stroke, eh.
He's all right.
Why did the cat meow?
Because it's a cat, and they meow.
Q: How come in airports, they park the planes outside?
A: They don't belong in buildings.
What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?
Your job still sucks.
Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."