Aed jokes
If you're reading this, you are Nickel and Gallium......
Ni- ........*something else in between the two halves*................Ga
YOU FUCKING MONKEYS!
There used to be Wonder Woman.
Now we wonder, what is a woman?
What did Tupac's homies smoke? His ashes.
It would've been too tacky to take a shot in his memory.
What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?
The word "art."
I used to be a baker, but I decided to quit my job and stick my dough inside WOMEN’S bakeries.
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.
She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"
A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
What do you call a rapper who's also a pirate?
Captain Rhyme.
Why did the rapper go to the pet store?
To buy a dog for his bark tracks!
What's a rapper's favorite type of car?
A RAPMOBILE!
Why did the rapper become a fisherman?
Because he wanted to reel in the BEST HOOKS.
What do KFC and pussy have in common?
Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
What do you call a rapper's pet?
A HIP-HOP-POTAMUS.
How do you know when a rapper's been in the kitchen?
The microwave goes, "ding, ding!"
What do you call a rapper who can't keep a beat?
A RAPPER-TAP-TAP!
Why did the hip-hop artist always carry a pencil?
For those FREESTYLE DRAFTS!
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
Why did the rapper go to school?
To get a degree in RHYMEOLOGY!
Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.