Aed jokes
I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.
What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher.
What's a cat's favorite instrument? Purr-cussion.
What's the best thing about Switzerland? The flag is a big plus.
What was the comment that Vice President Harris said in the United States Senate when a blue dog democrat in the United States Senate called Vice President Harris a bitch?
Kibbles 'N Bits!! Kibbles 'N Bits!! I is going to get me some Kibbles 'N Bits!!
Your mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Your mom is so stupid that she thought LGBTQ was a sandwich.
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. They speak with an Italian accent.
The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.
He’s used to penetrating aggressively.
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
Why is Jeffrey Epstein so bad at races?
Because he comes in a little behind.
If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?
Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.
Are you a razor? 'Cause you make me red.
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
What’s the difference between a cancer patient and a British news reporter in the South?
They usually don’t live to tell the tale.
It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.