Aed jokes
Shit! My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs! I've been his customer for 4 years, but I had no idea he was a barber.
Doctor: "I'm sorry, but you suffer from a terminal illness and only have 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean 10? 10 what? months? weeks?"
Doctor: "9, 8, 7..."
Yo mama so dumb, when the bartender said "beer is on the house" she grabbed a ladder.
"Just ditched a woman. Feelin' good!" -Techno
What's a rapper's favorite kind of tree?
CYPRESS HILL.
What's a rapper's favorite instrument?
The MIC-DROPHONE!
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
A rhyme scheme that's all about the Benjamins!
Why are autistic kids a stupid, brainless, special freak?
What do you call a rapper who's also a PILOT?
Fly Guy
What's a rapper's favorite type of movie?
"Rap-tures."
How do rappers greet each other?
With a high five and a mic drop!
What's a rapper's favorite animal?
RHYMENOCEROS!
Why was the rapper always on time?
Because they had a PHAT BEAT to keep them in check!
What did the beat say to the rapper?
"You're off rhythm, but I'll give you a hand!"
What do you call a rapper who can't afford jewelry?
"UNBLINGABLE"
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
Daveon is so straight, he thinks a straight line is the shortest distance between two points and nothing else.
Daveon is so straight, he can't even handle a slight bend in the road.
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
I'm not calling you a slut, I'm calling you a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everyone's pants.