Aed jokes
There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.
What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?
"Happy Death-Day To You!"
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken.
A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."
Q: Where did Sally go on her bike? A: Nowhere.
What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?
Because they always get a hole in one!
How did Stephen Hawking please his woman? He uses a hard drive.
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
What do you call a Censor with Autism?
A Censorspaz.
After an explosion at a French cheese factory... all that was left was De Brie.
How to kill a blond: put a scratch & sniff in a pool.
There was a dude, he was like, "Yo dawg, you wanna die?" I said, "What is this, Friday the 13th?"
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.
It means a lot!
Why was the beach salty? Because the land didn't wave back. The ocean then called the land a beach.
I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)
What did the bald man exclaim when he received a comb for a present?