Aed jokes
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
What burns up a football stadium?
A football match.
I followed the sun for a day (stood there at noon). I found myself at the same spot.
There once were 3 men on an airplane and one bit into an apple and said, "This is disgusting!" and threw it out the window. The 2nd man bit into a banana and said, "This is rotten!" and he threw it out the window. The 3rd man bit into a bomb and screamed, "ALL MY TEETH FELL OUT!" and he threw it out the window.
Meanwhile, on the ground, a police officer was walking and he saw a kid crying and he went up to him and asked him why he was crying. He replied, "An apple came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The police officer said, "That is weird," and kept on walking. Then he saw another kid crying and the police officer asked, "Why are you crying?" and he answered, "A banana came flying out of the sky and hit me on the head!" The officer said, "This has been a strange day." Then he sees a kid laughing and he asked why he was laughing and he said, while he was laughing, "My dad farted and the house blew up!"
Q: What do you call a cranky cow?
A: Moooooooody.
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
What do you call a fish with a temper?
Undyne.
A man walks into a bar with a slab of concrete under his arm and says, "A beer please! and one for the road!"
So I'm a cow, guess what my dad thinks of that? He says I'm a loooosmer.
Why does the sun get a lot of girls? Because it's hot.
An elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home.
The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game.
The man asks, "Is it your first time?"
The woman replies, "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."
Sally jumped out a plane, she forgot her parachute!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally...
How did she die?
A bomb came down whilst falling through the sky.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A bomb.
Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!
If you are talking to an Indian and notice a red dot appear on their forehead, be careful of what you said... They are recording it down... Careful... (no offense) pure joke.
Yo mama's so stinky that whenever she walks into a building, the flies drop dead!
Joke: What do you call a gay alligator detective?
Answer: An Investigator
What does the cannibal get after a one night stand?
Breakfast in bed!
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.
Q: Why did the father throw butter out the window?
A: He wanted to see a butterfly.