Aed jokes
What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.
Uranus is a gassy planet.
What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.
I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.
Q: What is a skeleton's favorite color?
A: Blue stop signs.
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.
It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.
Me: What's yellow and can't swim?
My sister: What??
Me: A school bus filled with kids.
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
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A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
What do you call a brave octopus? Octobrave.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Gary. Gary who? Gary a torch.
Yo mama so fat when she asked for a bathtub, they put a blanket over an ocean!
Your momma's so fat, a whale said, "Hello, Mom!"
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.