Aed jokes
A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
One day, an orphan bought a boomerang. He threw it, and it didn’t come back.
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
Yo mama so fat, she fell in love with a skinny dude and tried to hug him but crushed him.
What do you call a bald science teacher?
HOBBS LOL XD :)
There was once a dark room with a dark light and a terrible electrician.
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick him up and sick his dick.
Q: Why did the chip run away?
A: His saucy friend tried to jizz on him.
Two husbands walk into a bar.
The first one says, "My wife is an angel."
The second one says, "You're lucky, mine is still alive."
What room does a ghost not want to be in?
The living room.
Hi. Did sskskss sis askance ddodks sjissmsnsiam a sksddkddd mc?
Your mom is a mom!
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
I would tell you a story of my dad... If I knew who he was.
What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
One's a fucking tree.
There were 20 people in a box. There was not mushroom.
I saw a petition on replacing gravestones with trees so it will be a beautiful forest.
Son: Where's grandma?
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.