Aed jokes
A retired George W. Bush is eating a donut at 7/11 and looks at it. "I'm so happy I did that." A guy overhears the conversation and says, "You're happy you bought that donut? Oh haha, I would be too. I love donuts!" George W. Bush then says, "Oh hahaha, you caught me," and then says, "Oh hahaha, you must have heard me wrong. I said, I'm so happy I did 9/11."
America: I'm going to build a wall.
Nazi: Been there.
Soviet Union: Done that.
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a dick in the ass.
"You gave me the same sweater as last year."
"You s w e a t e r believe it."
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
SPOILER ALERT...
I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!
I told a joke to an orphan, turns out he wasn't an orphan...
What do you call a guy with a sandwich?
A guy with a sandwich.
Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"
Orphan: -no response-
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
How many times does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Tentacles!
So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"
Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"
A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a confession." The doctor asks, "What is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis." The doctor looks at her and asks, "Anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies, "No, just a penis."
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
A bass drum is the boss.
What animal lies? A lion.
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.