Aed jokes
What's a cow's favorite thing?
A mooooovie.
What do you call a man with a curly toe?
Carlito.
How do you turn the Roman numeral IX (9) to a six?
Add the "S."
If a kid does not go to sleep during nap time, isn't he resisting a rest?
Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE!
Doctor: Sit down for a minute.
What do you call a frozen Band-Aid?
Cool-Aid!
(just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."
Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."
So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"
The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"
The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
What does a cow sound like when in a horror house?
Moo mooo moooooooo (screaming)!
My son always said he wanted to skydive, so we went on a plane, and mid-flight, we had to jump out. The only issue is we were on a commercial flight to Arizona.
Why is a tomato red?
Because it saw the ranch dressing!
Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."
Trashy pig woman: "Why?"
Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
What is a cat's favorite Queen song... Don't stop meow.
We are having a sleepover and we are being as quiet as possible.
Addison: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, THOSE ARE GREAT JOKES!!!
Layne: IKR
Mom: SHUT UP, YOUR BROTHER IS TRYING TO SLEEP.
Addison: ok fine.
Layne: Look at this joke.
Addison: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
*Addison and Layne continue laughing really loudly*
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND CLEAN MY ROOM! YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!
Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"