Aed jokes

Yo' mama is a joke.

My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.

An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.

Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?

A: Tumor.

Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.

A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"

Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.

A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.

Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."

Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.

They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.

Why do orphans get the small sized chip bags?

Because they don’t have a family to share it with. 😥

How do you quiet a baby down?

Make baby back ribs for dinner.

What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?

A child with epilepsy.

Is it bad to hit an orphan?

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.

What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.

Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.

What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?

They both look good hanging from a tree.

Grove Christian School is a great school in Richmond, Virginia. I recommend that you go there.

A priest, a minister, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this a joke?"

Why can't orphans go to homecoming? Because they don't have a home to go to.

Kid: Hey, Dad.

Dad: You're an hour late.

Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.

Dad: By yourself?

Kid: No.

Dad: A boy?

Kid: I was with the teacher.

Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.

*The next day*

Uncle: F*CK!

A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

The other sibling said, "You are, too."

Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

And the sibling says, "We're twins."

The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."