Aed jokes
A lady weightlifter goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I have a confession." The doctor asks, "What is that?" She replies, "I've been using steroids and....I think I've grown a penis." The doctor looks at her and asks, "Anabolic?" There's an awkward silence then she replies, "No, just a penis."
What is the last thing that goes through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?
Its butt.
A bass drum is the boss.
What animal lies? A lion.
Q: Why did Sally get beat up?
A: She couldn’t fight back.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.
Why did the mushroom kill himself?
Because he had a mushy life.
My peepee small.
Why did Karen leave me?
Because I was a mushroom.
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
If you're reading this right now, Then the joke's on you, Because I'm right behind ya, mothafucka!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm laughing because you look like a monkey.
No, seriously,
I'm right behind ya.
JACK smoked some shit in the casino bathroom.
Then fucked a slut, played some slots, took some shots, then shot a JOKER!
It's a sad story, because JACK killed himself, but he died with a smile.
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.
The king took a shit on the craps table at the casino.
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag. OK, I’m joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
The QUEEN is JACK! KING off the JOKER!
I know what you're thinking, pervert. Actually, the joke's about a jester in drag.
OK, I'm joking, the Queen cheated on the King with the Jester.
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.
What do you say after you throw an egg at someone? "Yolks on you!"
Me: Knock knock.
Friend: Who's there?
Me: A broken pencil.
Friend: A broken pencil who?
Me: Nevermind, it's pointless.
A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.