Aed jokes
Why is a tomato red?
Because it saw the ranch dressing!
Me: "Hey, you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong."
Trashy pig woman: "Why?"
Because you smell like fart, and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a daredevil?
One has cunning stunts, whilst the other has a stunning...
What is a cat's favorite Queen song... Don't stop meow.
We are having a sleepover and we are being as quiet as possible.
Addison: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, THOSE ARE GREAT JOKES!!!
Layne: IKR
Mom: SHUT UP, YOUR BROTHER IS TRYING TO SLEEP.
Addison: ok fine.
Layne: Look at this joke.
Addison: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
*Addison and Layne continue laughing really loudly*
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND CLEAN MY ROOM! YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!
Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"
What do you call a cow with stuff growing on it? Moscow.
Have you ever felt an earthquake? It’s not nature; it’s Brandan Bressler.
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!
Your butt is so fat, I can remove 90% of beauty with a tissue.
What does a homeless man call his mother?
Useless.
What do you call a train that carries glue?
A glue-glue train!
Looks like he got stuck in a sticky situation.
If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!
What do you call a short cow in tall grass? Udderly tickled :)
1st person: What do you call a blind pianist?
2nd person: What?
1st person: A pianist.
Why do pedophiles go to a nursery?
Early access.
My family is like Donkey Kong: a real pain in the ass.