Aed jokes
What do you call a peso?
A wetback greenback.
What do you call an orphan with a gun?
(No) home shooter.
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 2.5-hour Energy?
I wanted to fuck my mom, but she replied, "My pussy only belongs to your dad." That's why I had to fuck her in the a$$!
Thank you, anonymous user, for helping me with math a few months ago.
Now I got a 31 on the ACT.
I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
Q. What do you call a CEO that's been shot in the head?
A. An ambulance.
Incest.
When your genealogy chart is a straight line.
I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because we shot the last one that had a dream.
Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?
A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.
"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
Hahahahahahahaha what a knee slapper!
Why do black people only have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot. (Martin Luther King joke)
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
"Oh, you’re still talking? I thought background noise was supposed to fade out after a while. Must be tough waking up every day knowing your personality was a failed experiment."
Why does everyone get offended at female firefighters?
Like seriously, if your house is on fire and burning, you wouldn't really care if the person saving you had a low IQ, right?
Yo mama's so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!