Aed jokes

Why did a cheetah fart? It needed more gas.

The cheetah had a race with a lion, and the cheetah won.

The lion was like, "Why you always a cheetah?"

The cheetah was like, "Why you always lion (lying)?"

My dumb ass thinking I made a friend, oh ya, I forgot, literally nobody likes me!

Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.

My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.

Me telling my parents I'm depressed: my parents, "No, you're just a little stressed and want attention, am I right?" My depression worsening, me: "Yeah, you're totally right mom..." Me in my head making a plan to commit suicide.....

Me: Are you okay?

Dentist: I'm just a bit surprised. When I said to you "spit it out," I wasn't expecting you to say you've been shagging my wife.

We the jury are yet to deliver our final verdict, but we would like to have a guess.

Is it Mrs. Peacock with the candlestick in the library?

The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.

EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.

I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?

So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."

What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?

Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.

A woman buys a house, but she doesn't know what to name the house, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Hairy butt," so she named the house Hairy Butt.

The next month she had a baby, but she didn't know what to name him, so she stuck her head outside and heard "Crack," so she named the baby Crack.

After a year or two she lost him, so she called the police and said, "Help! I looked all over my hairy butt, but I couldn't find my little crack."

I told my dad that I’m gay. He replied, “No, you're retarded.” Then he went off to kiss a baby.

What are the similarities between an emo and some Christmas lights?

They are both going to be hanging from a tree.

What's the difference between a baby and a brick?

A brick doesn't cry when you throw it on a wall.

What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?

mummy

What gets louder as it gets smaller?

A baby in a trash compactor.

I have a horse named Mayo.

Mayo neighs.

Q: Why did China take over Tibet? A: Because they china exploit foreign resources.

Btw, these are real facts despite the CCP's propagandist narratives. #FreeTibet #FreeHongKong #FreeInnerMongolia #FreeUyghers

Sure, just tell me how to put on a mask.