Aed

Aed jokes

Virgin

    • The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."

  • 4

    • Drunk

    • A man who drinks a lot is told by his wife that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him.

    Later, the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no,' he says to his friend, 'if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Don't worry,' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no,' the man says, producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'What's the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'

  • 0

    • Twitter

    • A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!"

    The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don’t follow you..."

  • 2

    • Guy

    • Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

    So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

    Turn

    • I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"

  • 0

    • Pirate

    • Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?

    Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?

    Virus

    • One random YouTube comment in 2018: "Soon, a virus will come to Earth."

    A year later: "Pahahahahah that comment is fake lmaoooo ahahahha!"

    Another year later: "Time to die a painful death."

    Another year later: "God has come with the cure!"