Aed jokes
I think I am a boomerang because I always come back to you.
Son: Dad, I need a new butt.
Dad: Why, son?
Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.
There is this boy in my year; he is in a wheelchair, so I kicked a football at him and pushed him, and then I shouted, "Rocket League!"
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
Alex: Dad, can we get me a little brother from the orphanage?
Dad: Sure, Alex! We're here!
Orphanage manager: Alex! You are so big now!
Alex: Dad, what is she talking about?!
Do you have a sunburn, or are you just always this hot?
"Why is my name Rose?"
"A rose fell on your head when you were born."
"Why is my name Daisy?"
"A daisy fell on your head when you were born."
"Bedrock is better than Java!"
"Oh, hi Brick!"
Riddle: I can fill a room, others can have me, but I can't be shared. What am I?
Answer: Loneliness.
Someone at my school the other day said that whoever killed Hitler was a hero. Who's going to tell him?
What is Hitler's favorite food? A hindenburger.
What do whales use to rub out a mistake in their homework? Their blubber.
What does a cannibal and a spider have in common?
Both have eight legs.
A priest and Rabbi run out of the orphanage.
Priest: "How the hell did that fire start?"
Rabbi: "I don't know, but what about the children?"
Priest: "Fuck the children."
Rabbi: "Do we have time?"
Priest: "There's always time for something like that."
Why'd the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the gay (guys/girls) house.
(Wait awhile) then ask “knock knock?” Other person says “Who’s there?”
A: The chicken.
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
Person: Bro, you have a bad and stupid life.
Me: Yeah, it was all good till you were here!
Person: WTF!
I cried when my dad was chopping onions. Onions was a good dog.
What type of bow can't be tied?
Rainbow.
What do old people have when they are sick.
A going away party.
Only a city council committee would create this mistake.
Put a fucking playground next to a shitty sewer!