Accident jokes

Why did Paul Walker drown?

Because he was too busy carpooling.

Why did Mary fall off the swings?

She got hit by a refrigerator.

He slips, he falls, he dislocates his balls!

Stephen Hawking died because he did a wheelie and unplugged his charger.

I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.

When a guy falls, it hurts them there. When a woman falls, it hurts more.

Why did the man fall off his bike?

Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.

What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.

I will always remember my grandfather's last words: "I'll just check if it's poisonous."

Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.

Knock, knock. Who's there?

Not Bob.

I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...

I know, I'm going to hell!

What did the Titanic say as it sank?

I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!

What's yellow and can't swim?

A school bus full of kids.

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Knock, knock.

Not Sally.

Who's climbing the tree?..... Not Sarah.

Who is in hospital?.... Sarah.

There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.

It crashed in a cemetery.

They recovered 500 bodies.

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

A man walks into a bar and ends up with a concussion.

Maybe if he looked where he was going, he wouldn’t have hit that pole.

When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.

I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.