So this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road he starts speeding. Eventually he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, is my wife okay, she was carrying my child. The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes “APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage
My fish pun aren't on porpoise.
Poopies in my undies
when you accidently choke your girlfriend to death and then realize that its your sister so who gives a f..k
They said I couldnt drive. now they know i cant cause they are all dead
Driving on a road at night and hit a speed bump. Remember there are no speed bumps..... I hit bambie
Tonight, on top gear! James may dives a bus full of kids off a mountain! Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany! and I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
why did Paul walker died because he crashed a car in a tree
a little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks " whats that" the little boy says that's my little red race car. 10 minutes later the boy looks down and ask's whats that,the little girl says "that's my little red race car garage. so later that night the boy ask's the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She say yes and they pull down there pants and the boy try's putting his little red race car in her garage but it won't fit down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up stairs flips on the lights and see's blood on the floor the mother ask's "what happened the little girl say's "we tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit so i cut the back wheels off"
mom tells her son to go to the other kid to walk to the kid just standing still to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car(but her son was blind the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap and the kid died because he couldn't hear he was deaf)
why did itsfunneh go on the road she so draco looking at car then the car runs over him sad draco
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead it also had rings
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy
911 I JUST CRASHED MY CAR I THINK ITS BURNING I CAN'T SEE IT HURTS TO BREATHE
why were you born? because I asked out your mom on accident
Guy : are you depression cause you're crippling me Car driver : no I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you Guy : don't worry I was already crippled because I got crippling depression
a ball hit me in the vagina
U
were accidental
Why did the parachute refuse to open?
Because it had a "fatal attraction" to the ground.
Johnathon
I know a little girl who once had an accident. When i asked her what her favorite song was she responded with "🎶head shoulders wheels and frame! Wheels and frame!🎶"
