Accident jokes
What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"
What's Kobe's favorite song?
"Helicopter Helicopter"
I was gonna tell you a Kobe Bryant joke.
But it would just crash and burn.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
Papyrus was playing with the human, but then Papyrus fell and he broke the cell bone of the human.
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.
A man walks into a bar.
He had to have 13 stitches!
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good, he died to a landmine.
Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.
He shouts “you stupid cunt!”
The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”
Dodi replies...:
“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”
I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
My friend fell on the Nile river and Egypt last week.
He swears by it, but he’s in denial.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?
"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
Why did I trip over your foot?
Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.