Accident jokes
Why did I trip over your foot?
Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!
Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?
Her boner.
Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.
Memes
Well.
If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)
Kobe Bryant ain’t flying that well anymore.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
I was gonna tell you a Kobe Bryant joke.
But it would just crash and burn.
I wasn't close to my dad when he died.
Which was good, he died to a landmine.
Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.
He shouts “you stupid cunt!”
The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”
Dodi replies...:
“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”
What’s got 4 wheels, does a barrel roll, and goes from green to red in seconds?
Kermit in a car crash.
A man walks into a bar.
He had to have 13 stitches!
"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.
Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
What's Kobe's favorite song?
"Helicopter Helicopter"
What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"
"Learn to fly a plane," they said. "It'll be fun," they said...
They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!