Accident jokes
When this guy fell off a cliff, he got an A+ for egg-cellence!
The other day my computer crashed. Luckily, there were no injuries.
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of kids.
What do visiting Goatman's Bridge and a bungee jumping accident have in common?
You hear a snap, and suddenly you're falling from a bridge.
There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.
ohio lol
When you accidentally wipe a little too hard and your finger goes up your bumhole, triggering flashbacks of when you were 10 and your uncle stayed a few weeks. 😂
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
Last week I found out my toaster is waterproof.
This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.
You were born on the highway. That's where all the accidents happen!
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.
Stephen Hawking died because he accidentally lost his bluetooth connection.
What time is it when you walk walk? Time to trip and fall!
When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.
What do Humpty Dumpty and Ace from KISS have in common?
They both had a great fall.
When did “yo” mean Hello?
They are so different, how did they come to mean the same thing? Did someone just walk up and accidentally say “llo” instead of hello and people were just like “what did you say?” and the man being embarrassed just made up a story and say “oh, I said yo, which means hello in my original language."
I will always remember my grandpa's last words. "Shit, the ladder is falling!"