What were Paul Walker's last words?
I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.
Papyrus was playing with the human, but then Papyrus fell and he broke the cell bone of the human.
We destroyed two boats, and they dropped the sun on us twice!
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
When your parents say, "We are sorry that you are here," what do you think of that?
I think that you're an accident!
What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?
Baby in a blender.
Kids?
A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of children.
So I was asleep and woke up and went to work. My wife left already to her job. I was driving my car and ran over someone. I woke up in my bed, realized it was all a dream.
20 minutes later I got a phone call that my wife got hit by a car.
What happens to a baby when you let it run loose? It can't cause it can't run yet.
Why did Stephen Hawking die? ... Because he pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep."
My girlfriend got ran over by a bus. I lost my job as a bus driver.
What goes hahaha bonk?
A man laughing his head off.
Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.
My ex died in an anchorage accident.
She always was a sleeping hooker.
A few days after her husband’s death, a widow accidentally receives an email from a man waiting for his wife in Spain.
The email reads: "Dearest Wife, just got checked in. Everything [is] prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P. S. It’s really hot down here!"
