Accident jokes
This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead, so I leaned in and said, "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed."
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
A boy tried to give a tree a high-five, but instead, he ended up hanging.
When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.
Well shit
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
"FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CAN'T BREATHE (I am Paul Walker btw)"
Papyrus was playing with the human, but then Papyrus fell and he broke the cell bone of the human.
A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.
Kobe Bryant never missed a shot.
But he nailed that mountain.
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?
They both have torn rotators.
A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".
The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.
Why did AlexDaEgg fall down the stairs? Because he is fat.
How did we know Princess Diana had dandruff?
'Cause the police found her Head and Shoulders on the dash.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
Why did the man get run over?
Ur mom XD
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
Two Australians walk into a bar. They run into the ceiling fan immediately.