Accident jokes

Why did Sally fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.

Knock, knock.

Not Sally.

Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?

Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.

Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.

Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.

If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)

Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.

Why did I trip over your foot?

Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!

What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?

I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.

What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"

What did the horse say after it tripped?

Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?

Her boner.

I was gonna tell you a Kobe Bryant joke.

But it would just crash and burn.

What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?

Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking during a house fire.

What's Kobe's favorite song?

"Helicopter Helicopter"

What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"

"Learn to fly a plane," they said. "It'll be fun," they said...

They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!

People said that Kobe could fly so high, but that did not end well.

Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.