Accident jokes

If you give a man a plane ticket, he will fly for a couple of hours, but if you push a man out of a plane, he will fly for the rest of his life :)

Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.

A Thai woman ran into a wall. What does she break?

Her boner.

Why did I trip over your foot?

Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!

Sorry, what’s the quickest way to get to the hospital? Easy, just stand in the middle of a busy road.

Kobe Bryant ain’t flying that well anymore.

Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?

Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.

What did one twin say to the other?

"Watch out for the plane!"

I was gonna tell you a Kobe Bryant joke.

But it would just crash and burn.

What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?

Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...

What does an Asian say when his car tires burst on the highway?

"Some Ting Wheely Wong!"

What did the horse say after it tripped?

Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!

Two men walk into a bar, no clue how they didn't see it.

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking during a house fire.

What's Kobe's favorite song?

"Helicopter Helicopter"

I saw a helicopter on January 26, 2020. Then Kobe was on the news.

What did the fat guy say when he fell off the ladder? "Catch me!"

"Learn to fly a plane," they said. "It'll be fun," they said...

A man walks into a bar... Oww!

What's red all over and spins at 100 mps?

Baby in a blender.