Accident jokes
Even Bob Ross couldn’t paint a happy little accident like BLESSEDBRIAN.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a fly? It's the sound they make when they hit the windshield.
What do gum and guns have in common?
When you pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend all of a sudden.
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Susie.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Kobe Bryant survived the plane crash.
Were you born on the side of the highway because that’s where all mistakes happen?
So Paul Walker made a rap cover. It is called "Straight Out of Windshield."
Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.
The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.
Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.
"Bill? Bill?" Bill hears faintly in the distance.
Bill Nye snapped back into reality only to find he had peed all over the set.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words.
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
Who's Paul Walker's close friend?
Tree.
What's black, has four wheels, and sits at the top of the stairs?
Steven Hawking after a house fire.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
What is big, yellow, and can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
How do you get my neighbor out of their tree?
You untie the rope.
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.