Abortion jokes
I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion? De-calf-inated.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
On one hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
It must have been a sad day when you slithered out of the abortion bucket.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Every good joke has its delivery, except abortion jokes, because they have none.
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."
Man, abortion jokes just don't get old, do they? In fact, they don't age at all.
My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."
Girl: "How do you feel about abortion?"
Dad: "Ask your sister."
Girl: "I don't have a..."
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
What’s the difference between 911 and an abortion?
With 911 there was a victim to tell the tale.
I pregnoot.
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.