My pregnant wife said we were gonna name the kid Digiorno. She wouldn't tell me why until she got an abortion and told me, "It's not delivery, it's Digiorno."
I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.
Girl: "How do you feel about abortion?"
Dad: "Ask your sister."
Girl: "I don't have a..."
You wanna know how to get rid of potential scam callers?
Next time you get a call from them, just answer the phone and say, "Pizza Hut abortion clinic, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce, how may I help you?"
I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.
When your girlfriend has an abortion, it's kinda like dodging your own bullets.
So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.
What does a freshly pregnant teen and her baby share?
They both think, "Mom's probably going to kill me."
Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!
What do you call a woman who aborted her quadruplets? A graveyard.
Abortions = yeetis of the fetus.
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
My life.
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.
