Clinic

Clinic jokes

Abortion

  • Some sperm arrive in the uterus and see that the egg is already fertilized. They complain that they lost the race and have nothing to do but die.

    One speaks up and says he isn't angry, and the others ask why.

    "He thought he was going to be alive," the sperm says. "This chick works at an abortion clinic."

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  • Doctor

  • A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."

    The man asks, "Why?"

    The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

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  • Abortion

  • Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.

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  • Doctor

  • A boy went to a doctor, and the doctor said, "I can't treat you." The boy asked why, and the doctor said, "Because I'm a family doctor."

    Trump

  • What's the difference between Canada and the USA?

    In the USA, Trump is sitting in the Oval Office.

    In Canada, he'd be sitting in the waiting room of a MAiD clinic.

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  • Rabbit

  • "A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"

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  • Alley

  • What's green and has a thousand nipples?

    A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.

  • 1
  • Doctor

  • A guy goes in to get some tests done. The doctor comes out and says, "I got good news and bad news." The guy says, "Ok, let's get the bad news out of the way." The doctor says, "The tests came back positive. You got two weeks to live." The guy says, "Oh My God!! Then what the hell is the good news?" Doctor says "You see that nurse over there, the one with the big tits? I'm screwin' her."

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  • Dentist

  • A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"

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  • Apple

  • An apple walked into the clinic.

    The doctor asked what his favorite color was.

    The apple said "red." :)

    Shark

  • Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?

    Because dead babies make the best chum! :)

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