Able to jokes

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin."

"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"

"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"

"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"

Why was the kid not able to cross the hallway?

Answer: The school shooter already shot him in the middle of the hallway.

Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?

His parents never brought back the milk.

I got a PS5 for my nine-year-old sister. At the time, I thought it was the best trade I’d ever made. But now I’m regretting not being able to molest her anymore.

Me: “You guys wanna know a cool fact?”

Friend 1: “Yeah.”

Friend 2: “Yea.”

Me: “Japan is RIGHT that way. If we swim all night...we’ll be able to get to Japan.”

Friend 3: “I love anime.”

Friend 1 & 2: “Nononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Me: *Laughs at Friend 3*

It’s too bad G won’t be able to follow in Kobe’s footsteps and rape a hotel employee but not serve one minute in jail.

If you are a student at law school, a law professor can charge you up to $98,998.00 for one semester.

If the law professor is very late and is not punctual to teach you anything about law in his class, should a law student be able to charge the law professor a certain amount of money for not being able to teach his class because he is off task and not being punctual? Is your time precious too?

If the law professor is Polish, now you know the reason why you should never go to a law school that has a "dumb polack" for a law professor.

Sorry for your luck; it sucks to be you!

Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?

The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!

You know why I hate paper? It's TEAR-able to the environment.

Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?

He wanted to be able to finger A minor.

If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.

Why did the Polish Roman Catholic priest remove zippers from the pants of gay men in the LGBT community?

Because he lost his key to his house and he was desperate to get back inside of his house and he thought that one of keys to their zippers would be able to unlock the door of his house.

Me: I want to be a stand-up comedian.

Friend: You have to be able to stand up.

Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?

Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!

Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.

I will never understand why manslaughter is illegal.

Men should be able to laugh at whatever they want.

My middle name is Brian. I was so proud of being able to spell my full name till someone pointed out "Johnny Brain Walker" was incorrect.

Why was the orphan able to avoid getting into trouble at school?

Because they couldn’t call his parents!

More random keyboard words made into sentences:

This was a joke that was made by someone who had never been to the game before, but who was the first person to make it into a game of game with the intention of being able to play the first person who played it.

I just came up with a really good deaf people joke! The great thing is that they won't be able to hear it!