Able to jokes
Danny just bought a new game from Steam for a penny.
About one hour later, Danny asks his mother: "Mom, I am not able to start the game."
Mom asked, "Why?"
Danny answers: "It says 'Press any key' on the screen, but I can't find an 'Any' button on my keyboard."
You are so fat you were able to occupy Wall Street all by yourself.
Why won't an American atheist convert to the religion of Islam in the city of Dearborn, Michigan?
Because being on the sex offender list is the only requirement to be able to join a mosque in the city of Dearborn, Michigan.
Your head is so big, it looks like traffic is able to fit on it!
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
What happened after George Floyd went to the drugstore to buy Zicam Extreme Congestion Relief?
George Floyd was able to breathe again.
Why was the kid not able to cross the hallway?
Answer: The school shooter already shot him in the middle of the hallway.
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
Here in Canada, you used to be able to be shipped off to an asylum just because you were gay.
I guess they couldn't tell the fruits from the nuts.
It's obvious Bill Gates didn't create COVID.
None of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently.
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.
A hitman walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "I'm here to assassinate John Tucker." The bartender replies, "He’s in the restroom." The hitman goes inside the restroom and comes out after 1 hour.
The bartender asks him, "Did you kill him?" The hitman replies with a sad face, “I asked him any last wishes and the guy asked me to allow him to finish his shit as he is half way in passing his stools, so I gave him my word that I would wait and so I waited for an hour, and when I asked him what’s taking him so long, he says he will not be able to finish because he is just getting started.”
I've thought about suicide, but there's always been a part of me that knows I wouldn't be able to live with the decision.
Katy Perry can't sing, can't dance, doesn't write music, is unbelievably ugly, and is unable to decipher maths or science. Really though, I didn't realize going down on a record executive would later lead her to be one of the people able to go to space.
You are able to travel to the anime world, believe me, Michael Jackson did it.
Two muffins are sitting in a bar.
The first muffin says to the bartender, "I'll have the usual."
The second one does not say anything to the bartender because muffins lack the vocal ability of humans, and even with the proper anatomy capable of speech access, they would most certainly be entirely unable to comprehend the human language. In fact, the first muffin would indefinitely not be able to provide speech to the bartender. The muffins also lack the muscular structure to be capable of support themselves to being suspended also preventing their access to movement. Even with the human-like structure, muffins lack brains, which are an essential part of being able to send nerve contact within the legs to be able to move. Also, with them lacking a brain structure entirely prevents them from speech. The anatomy simply prohibits the food items mentioned to be able to carry out any of the tasks required to get them to said bar and be able to speak, thus making the situation untruthful and completely idiotic.
I don't joke about paraplegics; they wouldn't be able to stand up for themselves.
Everyone is able to be stupid, but you're just abusing the privilege.
A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work... We were able to lift his coffin.
Why did the priest want to learn how to play the organ?
He wanted to be able to finger A minor.