My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheese burgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through. So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress I guess :D
Se we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of "do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She herd this question to the point were she just says yes without hesitation. Once she had said yes, two kids int he back started laughing. Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you? Kid: Oh were not laughing at that. Kid_2: Were laughing at cancer.
So I'm the Cable Guy around the neighborhood and I do everybody's table so I walked into this one house and I noticed a little kid and the mom was upstairs I was asking where her mom was and she wasn't answering and it looked like something was wrong so I asked if anything was wrong she didn't answer so I kind of raise my voice at her but she still didn't answer and then I realized the hearing aid in her ear
You know how Joe Biden is happy When he is rubbing a little girls shoulders and eating ice cream.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A little chimney said: "Ooooh, I think my house owner is making a fire in me! I'm about to smoke!!"
The big chimney said next to him: "Well, your to young to smoke..."
I was on a plane and My mom said it just a little turbulence And I said Mom we just got on run way
Mommy why is my name brick??? mom: When you were a little baby a feather dropped on your head. mommy why is my name rose??? mom: When you were a little baby a feather dropped on your head. Brick walks in "blagudnunag"
Did you hear Biden went to the ER? He's having a little trouble with his Putin
If you ever get chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're trained for that.
Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.
What do you give the dentist of the year? A little plaque.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Clarie: I don't even care if it was a joke he made on me, you and Karlen, and if you think I'm getting over it, then you must have an otameal for a brain.
Jordan: Clarie ... you are so sensitive when she tells a little joke about you, me and Karlen.
Clarie: It was painful!
Jordan: Who cares? I laughed. Ben is not a bad person, okay, calm down.
Clarie: Ben is a bad person. We are making friends with a bully/thug, but you say that he is not a "bad person", my mom is going to kill me if she finds out that I am hanging out with those kinds of people!
Jordan: Then don't tell her! Listen, I need you, give Ben a chance! Please?
Clarie: Shush Karlen is coming!
Karlen: Hey guys, that ben guy for sure as a way of saying words, I wish I could hurt him!!
Conversation between a little baby and a lady👇
👱LADY=hi 💂LIT.BABY=(no reply) 👱LADY=wot is ur name 💂LIT.BABY=no reply 👱LADY=hw old at u 💂LIT.BABY=(no reply) 👱LADY=wot is ur mom's name 💂LIT.BABY=(no reply) 👱LADY=wot about ur dad 💂LIT.BABY=(no reply) 👱LADY=can u spell ur name 💂LIT.BABY=(no reply) 👱LADY= can you spell GOD 💂LIT.BABY=(spelling) G.O.D if a little baby can spell GOD,wot about you. Just spend some minutes and type "GOD" if know u will sleep and wake up tomorrow by GOD's grace,ignore if u are living by power MINE:GOD 😃
Went to my local Indian restaurant asked the waiter for a chicken tarka Masala the waiter said what's that I said it's the same as a tikka just a little otter
What does Michael jackson like to carry around? A little ball sack
According to all known laws of aviation,
there is no way a bee should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.
- That girl was hot. - She's my cousin!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
The man walks into a bar reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny piano and a tiny piano player the piano player starts playing the piano, the guy next to him asks where did you get that, the man says there is a genie out on the corner granting wishes, so the man sitting next to him jumps up and runs outside he says to the genie I want a million bucks, the genie snaps his fingers and a million ducks appear in the road, the man comes back inside and says hey that genie is a little hard of hearing, the man says well did you really think I'd ask for a 12-in pianist
