Worst Jokes Ever
What do you get when you mix alcohol with literature?
Tequila Mockingbird.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: “Would you like a piece of cake?” - “No, I would like two.”
What does the suicidal person say on New Years?
"New year, no me."
What’s worse than finger banging your sister?
Finding your dad’s wedding ring.
I was out to dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I, being 47, had many people shouting at me and calling me a creep.
It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Your gene pool is so shallow, you could break your neck diving in.
What do you call a fat chick with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
Emos,
They're always a cut above the rest.
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
MC Presto.
Rapboat so fat he got more chins than Chinatown.
What's the difference between Elton John and rapboat?
Elton is talented, rich, and openly gay. Rapboat got fuck all talent, no money, and is not out of the closet yet.
Yo mama is so dumb, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
What do you call a fart in a gay bar?
A mating call.
Rapboat says he has a rap career. Wrap career more like, wrapping burgers at McDonald's.
Why do gay men hate periods?
They prefer Collins.
Why do blonde prostitutes prefer blowjobs?
They hate it when you hand it to them.
The 5 year old with cancer is going through a mid-life crisis.
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
I feel bad for the people who were born on April 1.
Their life is a joke.