Worst Jokes Ever
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70-year-old.
How do you knock out 26 kids in one punch?
Give them a Sandy Hook.
Teacher: How much is a gram?
Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need.
What do you call a group of Alabama superheroes?
The Incredibles.
Yo mama so fat, when she went to a dating service, they ended up matching her up with Pittsburgh.
If Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden are in a boat and it capsizes, who survives? America.
Yo mama so fat when she sits down, she sits next to everyone!
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
Beer Bottle: You break me, you get one year of bad luck!
Mirror: You kiddin' me? You break me, then y'all get seven years of bad luck!
Condom: Hahaha... (Condom walks off laughing)
What's black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?
What do you call a well endowed gay male who is also in a wheelchair?
Meals on wheels.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"
So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."
He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"
Why should you keep English gay activists away from neo-nazis?
British cigarettes get smoked easily.
Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.
"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"