Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the picture go to jail?
Cause it was framed!
Little Natalie was playing with matches. Her mother caught her, took them, whupped her, and told her never to play with matches again.
A few minutes later, Little Natalie was playing with matches again. The curtains caught fire, and the house burned down.
Another few minutes later, when she and her mother were sitting at their neighbors', her mother told her: "If you think I gave you a whupping, wait till your father gets home!"
Little Natalie just cackled with delight because she knew her father had gotten home earlier and gone upstairs to take a nap.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
At a date:
He: "I work with animals every day."
Me: "Oh, how sweet! What do you do?"
He: "I'm a butcher."
Why do ballerinas wear tutus?
The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope.
What's the difference between Jesus and the baby I have in my basement?
Jesus died a virgin.
Kill yourself!
Chuck Norris doesn't turn on his shower, he just stares at it until it cries.
So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who dresses like a merman? Posiedown.
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
What was the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.
Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
Q: How do you make a door cry?
A: Twist its knob.