Worst Jokes Ever
I was raised a Catholic, and my priest told me when I was 12, "God is watching you when you masturbate."
I said, "Is God a pedophile too, Father?"
Say what you want against pedophiles, but they slow down in school zones.
What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
Cha Ching.
My doctor called me fat. I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said, "OK, you're ugly too."
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
What do you call 100 rabbits walking backwards?
A receding hare line.
A prisoner was told how he'll be executed. Needless to say, he was shocked.
My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After hours of agonising pain... it died.
Confucius say, man who runs behind car will get exhausted, but man who runs in front of car will get tired.
A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a door, and a staircase.
What do you call a dog with no legs? -- Doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming.
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.
What do you do with epileptic lettuce? -- You make a seizure salad.
Where did the cat go when it lost its tail? -- To the retail store!
Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.