What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.
Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?
Because you can't see in the dark.
What do dogs and planks have in common? They both have to be walked.
Why did the mailman come to the house?
To come back with the milk.
What's an orphan's least favorite store?
Home Depot.
What goes up but doesn't come down?
Tell who we are.
How did people bully Helen Keller? They said, "Wow, that was the coolest thing ever! You really should have seen it!"
A brother and sister were hanging out, and the brother was sad, so the sister asked why. The brother replies with, "I think I need to break up with you!"
My girlfriend just broke up with me because I held a door for another girl. She said I was cheating, but the girl I helped was in a wheelchair.
Yo mama so fat that when she went into a crowd wearing a blue shirt, everyone yelled, "Tsunami!"
What is illegal in Africa? Water guns.
People should build orphanages next to graveyards so at least orphans can see their parents.
Q: What's the best way to carve wood?
A: Whittle by whittle.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
What's the difference between God and Ron DeSantis?
God does not think he is Ron DeSantis.