Worst Jokes Ever
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
Yo mama is so poor, she asked a homeless guy for money.
My teacher gave us an assignment, and one of the questions was "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I answered, "Happy."
The teacher said I didn't understand the test. I said to her that she didn't understand life.
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
Girls are like blackjack; you shoot for 21, but I keep hitting 14.
Stephen Hawking isn't really dead, he's just rebooting.
Stephen was a great person, and he will be greatly missed, but I enjoy these jokes too much to not stop.
Last night in bed, I was gazing up at the stars and was thinking to myself, "Where the f*ck is my roof?"
In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."
People say that life is short.
I say... life is the longest thing we ever do.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."
Pedophiles smell good.
Don't worry, Stephen Hawking isn't dead.
They have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a USB.
How does Stephen Hawking take a shit? He logs out.
What did the little boy say to the fat man?
How many Japs did you get?
Time for a story: There are 500 bricks on a plane, one falls off. How many are left? 499.
What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator? Open fridge, put in elephant, close fridge.
What are the 4 steps to putting a giraffe in a fridge? Open fridge, take out elephant, put in giraffe, close fridge.
The lion king is having a birthday party. All the animals attend except one, who is it? Giraffe, he's stuck in the fridge.
Sally wants to cross an alligator infested river. There is no bridge and the only way she can get across is by swimming. She swims across safely, how? The alligators where at the birthday party.
Sally dies anyway. How? She got hit in the head by a flying brick.