Worst Jokes Ever
When Bubba's condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.
What do you call a racist crow?
Jim.
We can nip March Madness in the bud, but only if we detect the warning signs of brooding, anti-social February Fever.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
When I die, I want my body to be cremated.
And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!
What show does an orphan hate?
Family Guy.
There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
Note to self.
When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".
Google "cream pie recipes".
What do you get when you cross jokes and cum?
CUMedy.
What do you get when you cross the terms homeless and abandoned?
POORphan
Why did the moron throw his clock out the window?
The clocks reminded him of Richard Clock, the convict who knife-raped his wife.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Me.
My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.
I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.
Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.
Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.
And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid.
Man: "Hang in there! I'm gonna get some help!"
Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said.
RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)
Daniel committed suicide five years ago today......
How did the other 18 COVIDs go unnoticed?
Ah yes, cremation. My last chance of having a smokin' hot body.
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Why Should I Walk? By Iona Carr.
What Lonely Girls Should Do By Seymour Fellowes.
Unusual Window Decorations By Rod Curtains.
The Long Walk Home By Misty Bus.
Race to the Outhouse By Willie Makit and Illustrated by Betty Wont.
What do you call a person with no body and no nose? "Nobody knows."