Worst Jokes Ever

Why did the old man fall into the well? He couldn't see that well.

You know how 6 is afraid of 7 because 7 8 9? Well, 10 is afraid because he was in the middle of 9/11.

I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?

What gets louder as it gets smaller?

A baby in a trash compactor.

If the formula of water is H2O, then what is the formula of ice?

H2O cubed.

Skinny deformed creature in the distance.

The Arabian Sea is in which state?

Liquid.

A man walks into a bar and orders three shots. "Long day?" the bartender asks. "Well... My oldest son just came out..." The man finishes the shots and leaves the bar. The next day, the man comes back and orders four shots. "What now?" the bartender asks. "My middle son just came out." The man finishes his drinks and leaves. He comes back the next day and orders five shots. "Again?" the bartender asks. "Yeah. My youngest son." He drinks his shots and leaves. The next day, he comes in again. This time, he orders ten shots. "My God! Is there anyone in your family that likes girls??" the bartender asks. "Yeah... My wife."

Why can't Trump go to the White House anymore? Because it's forbidden!

I have sex.

I saw identical twins. I threw a paper plane at them.

How do you know when your sister is on her period? When your dad's cock tastes of blood.

After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...

...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:

370HSSV 0773H

All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.

One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:

"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."

What did Michael Jackson say when he became a triangle? Tetraheehee!

What goes zzub-zzub?

A bee flying backwards.

Why is parking a car like finding a girlfriend?

All the good ones are taken, so you stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.

I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions.

Onions was a good dog.

After 40 years, Kobe finally learned to pass.

What's the similarity between a broken pencil and my life?

They're both pointless.

In Israel, they chop convicted rapists' balls off. Sure glad I don't live in Israel.