Worst Jokes Ever
Why is mercury like everything else in the world?
Because it gives you cancer.
Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?
Friend 2: Pizza.
Friend 3: Donuts.
Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.
Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)
Friend 2: (Calling the parents)
Why can't Chinese play baseball?
Because they eat the bats.
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
I'm hertophobic -
aka I'm allergic to all straight guys.
What do magicians and prostitutes have in common?
Answer: disappearing acts.
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
Why are feminists always against men?
Because men can piss with something that they can't: piss with dicks.
How do you stop a heterosexual woman from sucking your dick? piss inside her mouth
What kind of experience does a feminist have?
Being a bitch.
Why do feminists eat so much pussy?
To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.
Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?
How do you know when you should tell a heterosexual woman to stop sucking your dick?
When there is blood coming out of your dick instead of sperm.
Roses are red, I reload fast...
I'm gonna pull up to your school, bitch you better run fast!
April Fools' joke: Go to an orphanage and say your parents came back.
How do you know if you have a high sperm count?
She chews before she swallows.
Rabbit poop is cereal.
What does a necrophiliac get at a wedding?
Mourning wood.
Why did the chicken go to KFC? ... To visit his family.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
What do you call a dumb and mean crocodile?
A crookodile.