Worst Jokes Ever
Why is the leaning tower of Pizza leaning?
It has better reflexes than the twin towers.
My Xbox has been acting up lately... So I painted it black to make it run faster.
In case there's a school shooting, the teachers can help out and shoot the kids.
If a deaf person is at court, then is it still called a hearing?
I got kicked out of a hospital once. I told all the COVID patients to stay positive.
Why don't Japanese people like iPhones?
Because they are afraid of American airdrops.
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
I took my girlfriend out the other day... Man, do I love being a sniper.
A man was walking with a young boy in the woods.
The boy looks at the man and says, "Mister, it's too dark and I'm getting scared."
The man replies with, "How do you think I feel? I have to come back alone!"
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Why is the dog having KFC? Because the dog has no friends.
Remember, kids: the school shooter can't get you if YOU are the shooter.
Crush: "How much do you love me?"
Me: "Well, look at the stars outside."
Crush: "But it's morning."
Me: "Exactly."
What movie does an orphan want for Christmas? "Spiderman: Homecoming";)
My school is on fire today, and I pushed a kid in a wheelchair down the stairs and shouted, "Hot Wheels!"
I threw a paralyzed kid into the fireplace and called him hotwheels.
If prostitution had a tax-exempt status, and if an adult bookstore had a tax-exempt status because of a glory hole, churches would have to do something else to keep their tax-exempt status to avoid the risk of going out of business.
What is it called when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning.
Damn, I love being a sniper.