Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
What’s the difference between women and condoms?
There isn’t a difference; they’re both throw aways.
Roses are red, violets are blue, this poem doesn’t make sense, washing machine.
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
I saw a man sitting on the ledge of a bridge the other day, and asked him what was wrong. He responded with nobody loves me, so i told him that may be true but you dont wanna kill yourself you want to die of old age, or at least be murdered, suicide is for the weak. he responded with your right so I pushed him over the bridge, and he died of murder
Kid: I'm hungry.
Dad Bot: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
Teenager: I'm Hitler did nothing wrong.
Dad Bot: Hi Hitler did nothing wrong, I'm dad.
Nazi: Finally!
My friend got mad when he caught me smelling his sister's panties. I don't know why he was mad, maybe because she was wearing them, or because his whole family was watching. Either way, it made the funeral a bit awkward.
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Who's the fastest reader?
Me, 'cause I'll be jumping off so many stories.
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
I saw a man trying to rape a girl. I decided to help. She didn't stand a chance against both of us.
Chimmy: (smoking because of fireplace)
Chimmy2: You're too young to smoke.
What is the best cure for aging?
Suicide.
Q: If George Washington was alive today, what would he do?
A: Scratch mercilessly at the coffin walls, while screaming at the top of his lungs!