Worst Jokes Ever
Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.
His new music video has been leaked. It’s called “Living in a Tree.”
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
Yo mama's so skinny that when she walks outside, she floats to Heaven.
What the fuck?
There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.
White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"
You get on an elevator and you find the Pope and Donald Trump cowering from two snarling wolves. In your hand you find a revolver with only two bullets in it... what do you do?
You shoot the Pope and the Donald each in a leg and exit the elevator at the next stop.
Why did Michael Jackson go to Walmart? Because he heard boys' pants were half off!
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏
I wasn’t close to my dad when he died. It’s a good thing he stepped on a land mine.
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
I hate when my class want to play hangman. Not because they hang a man, but because I get jealous.
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.
Why don’t Chinese people model? Because it would look like the same model every time.
Me: Hey, that's a really heavy bag, do you have a lot of books and magazines in there?
The Quiet Kid: Yeah, magazines.....
Have you ever had sex camping?
It's inTENTS.
(sorry in advance this joke is brutal)
What has 12 heads and 24 eyes?
The bin at the back of the abortion clinic.
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
What's worse than ants in your pants? Michael Jackson.
Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books. Instead, they got magazines.